IC contact. Drift Fleet.

[edwinjarvis]

 

 

Hello, this is Edwin Jarvis; I'm unable to answer the phone at the moment, but leave a message and I assure you I will respond as soon as possible.

Comments

[ahappylie]

[he was already going to heckie, so this just hastens his journey]

I didn't realize innocence could be dastardly. Did the flamingos do something to you again, Jarvis-san? Another sponsor drop perhaps?

Action

[edwinjarvis]

Oh, in that case, I can be more than happy to provide.

Perhaps I could prepare some of the food I've noticed she steals from my kitchen most of all.

... Her appetite is as terrifying as her heel size.

Action

[uprightness]

It's because she never sits still.

[ or at least it's his current theory. ]

You know, she thinks I should learn how to cook.

1/2 double the face

[edwinjarvis]

[edwinjarvis]

Perhaps I should put them in an incinerator on the next waystation we visit, then.

Action

[edwinjarvis]

A logical conclusion, sir.

[woops sorry the sir just slipped out

anyway]

... Would you like to learn how to cook?

Action

[uprightness]

Steve.

[ he hurries to correct. he hasn't been 'sir' since...ever. ]

I only know how to boil things, figures I should. We might not always have a cook on the Starstruck.

Action

[edwinjarvis]

Hmm...

Do you fancy yourself strategic?

It's not much different from that. Having a strategy and following a recipe, they're quite similar.

Action

[uprightness]

I highly doubt you get to your level of cooking by simply following orders, Mr. Jarvis.

[ he says that with a small, appreciative smile. what. so he always gets a second and third helping of what he brings to the starstruck, so sue him. ]

Must be more to it.

Action

[edwinjarvis]

Of course there is!

Determination, practice, patience, and careful planning, Mr. Rogers.

[NOD, NOD.]

... I appreciate that you enjoy my work, however. I'm afraid I pale in comparison to my granny, god rest her soul, but I can always at least teach you how not to burn a casserole.

Action

[uprightness]

I guess it would be one hell of a start.

[ and alright, perhaps the enthusiasm is infectious. ]

Whenever you have time, I'll drop by.

Action

[edwinjarvis]

By all means, Mr. Rogers — any time.

[ahappylie]

You could, but what if the ghosts of the flamingos come back to haunt you. You wouldn't want to be haunted by dead flamingos, would you?

[edwinjarvis]

..............

Mr. Soujirou, are we not mature adults here? This must stop.

[ahappylie]

Are we?

[No, seriously, are they?]

And stop what? Having a nice conversation?

[edwinjarvis]

[HEAD IN HANDS.

He doesn't even have the heart to deny treats for this gross sin against him.

Alas!!]

A nice conversation indeed. Perhaps we can negotiate flamingo removal in exchange for snacks?

[ahappylie]

[This is how he gets to you, Jarvis. He finds your weak point and exploits it.]

Oh! If you would like help in keeping the flamingos away, I'm sure I can figure something out to help you in exchange for a treat or two as a reward.

[This is not as he wanted, but he will 100% take it.]

[edwinjarvis]

[... Phew.

Blessed day.]

I am more than willing to offer edible goods for your flamingo-thwarting services.

[You hooligan.]

[ahappylie]

I'll do my best then.

[For cake.]

But I can't guarantee that I'll be able to stop all of them. As you said, they're very dastardly birds.

[edwinjarvis]

Well. The amount of edible goods will be certainly tied to how may flamingos elude your skillful eye.

[ahappylie]

I see! So the more flamingos I keep from your ship, the more I'll be rewarded?

[Meaning he could just...lie about how many he's kept away.]

[edwinjarvis]

More along the lines of starting with a maximum number of treats and watching them dwindle down for every flamingo that escapes your sight.

[NICE TRY]

[ahappylie]

Well, you'll have to inform me of the maximum number and how much each period of time is before they replenish.

[edwinjarvis]

Hmm.

What do you suppose a fair maximum number is?

[ahappylie]

[How many indeed....]

How much can you make in a day?